Articles

As a wellness coach I very often see clients who are struggling with a range of symptoms that are causing them problems, from stress and overwhelm to exhaustion and burnout. In many cases, we can drill down to the root cause of these issues, and see that the setting of appropriate personal boundaries may be absent or in need of greater attention. We should look to set boundaries in all areas of our work, family and social lives, and this is not to exclude others or avoid responsibilities, it is to ensure our own health and wellbeing and enable us to be the best version of ourselves.

Setting Boundaries in the Workplace

 So many people now suffer from stress and burnout related to their job, and it is very often those who are most successful and diligent who struggle the most. Setting personal boundaries in the workplace is absolutely okay, it does not reflect negatively on your ability or willingness to do your job. In fact, if you are rested, energetic and maintaining consistent boundaries, it is likely that you will really thrive in your role. For example, many of us may work through our lunch breaks or weekends, or be constantly contactable outside working hours. Remember to start small, and try to set one immovable boundary to begin with. Whether that is a daily walk at lunchtime or a resolution to keep your emails unread overnight, appropriate boundaries will enable you to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Setting Boundaries at Home

If you are someone who has caring responsibilities, perhaps for an elderly relative, or indeed for children, then it is likely that this will resonate with you. Sometimes we want to feel like we are available for everyone at all times, and this can be especially trying if you are not in employment. You can perhaps feel that you need to be doing chores and errands for others all the time. It is very easy, in these circumstances, to become overstretched. It becomes all too easy to forget about your own needs, perhaps neglecting your need to rest. You are working hard, even if not directly via employment: you are keeping your home and family together.

One option might be to consider who might be able to help you? Who could assist with all of the commitments that you have? Is there anyone that you could delegate work to so that it is not all on your shoulders? This can be hard, particularly if you are a sole carer, but you still can and need to create the time to look after yourself. Personal boundaries are incredibly important and mustn’t be forgotten. Whether you are a parent, carer, partner, friend, or managing a home full time, unpaid work is still work. Emotional labour is still labour and burnout doesn’t only happen in paid employment.

Setting Boundaries with Friends

We are all aware of what true friendship looks like; being there for each other when the chips are down. These are the people that you can trust and depend upon and who really enhance your life, and you theirs. Sometimes, unfortunately, we feel that one of our friendships can become more demanding of our time or make us uneasy in their company. In this circumstance, it is okay to distance yourself. Check in with your personal boundaries and ensure that the friendship is still a two way street. Is this person making you happy or are they becoming a drain on your happiness and emotional resources? It can be better to cut ties with a friendship than to continue to allow it to overstep your boundaries.

How are your personal boundaries? Are they serving their purpose? Make sure you check in and review them regularly; they will really help.